WARNING: Incredibly funny stuff!!!

WARNING: Incredibly funny stuff!!!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says 'A beer please, and one for the road.'

'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.''That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.''Is it common?''Well,'It's Not Unusual'

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,'I was artificially Inseminated this morning.''I don't believe you,' says Dolly.'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied,'I know you can't -- I've cut off your arms!'

I went to a seafood disco last week ... And pulled a mussel

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,'Dam!'